It's Saturday morning and as a Scottish soccer god and legend I am waking up a little on the stiff side and not in a nice way either.
I got caught just above the knee yesterday and now have a nice little lump which means I'm having a bit of a hobble to and from the bathroom. " you went down in installments" At my age Muppet you may not have noticed but I do everything slowly!
Worth it though for my nice ping into the back of the net yesterday. Ball in the back of the net without touching the deck. Long throw out from the Fox, straight to my chest.. But stepped back, spun round and volleyed straight past the keeper. Sadly still breathing through my backside just to keep going....no change there say many.
I would like to appologise for my comments to Phil Matheson. In a recent game, whilst trying to "nudge him out of the way, I found hi my to have quite a solid bony arse. With the joys of predictive text, this appeared to the world as a Bonnie Arse......I would like to appologise for any confusion caused..... No Phil, I not giving the flowers back!
Sam Hector was unable to make it for the game as his wife was being seduced.......hopefully the birth went well....though check if the baby looks anything like Leee Cooke, I have a hessian bag and a brick and know where ere us a canal .
Questions were raised in the house over the "mental" state of the Fox following a string of excellent saves yet we managed to lose. Last weeks penaly miss followed by the lap of dishonour all the way to the changing room meant that Mrs "the Fox" stayed with her mother again.
Tony James showed no shame turning up with his red England top with Gerrard on the back. " Stevie needs our support at this time"
It's amazing how for 364 days, nobody gives a monkey about maths until defeat to Uruguay mean that it was mathematically possible for England to still qualify.
24 hours later Costa Rica resolved that issue. Might be interesting to find out all across the country where people are scrambling through litter bins looking for the Costa Rica ticket for the office World Cup sweepstake.
Good people of Englandshire, for years now it was great fun to point out that for Scotland, the World Cup only lasted two weeks, yours didn't even jake it that far.
There's always a Scotsman around to support you, remember, we were as Uruguayan as the next man.my mate says that north of the border Uruguay and Costa Rican shirts were selling for £6.00 like hot cakes. Nice bit of marketing JJB sports.
The Brazilian press weren't so magnanimous. Nice Beatles reference....has anyoneounted out half them are dead and one of the others is just Ringo Starr!
Now is the summer of our discontent, made glorious by this brace by Suarez! Louis always willing to be helpful. Just wondering what first day back at training at an field will be like.
Ballotelli asked for a kiss on the cheek from the queen if he helped England qualify.
Not happening.
Not willing to be taken lightly, The Queen has decided to take matters into her own hands.
Not even bothering to use Hglen Mirren as a stunt double.
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