Helena Romanes head teacher, Simon Knight (32) was proud to announce plans for the building of a 2000 seater stadium in the Dunmow Green belt area near Tescos.
"I am proud to be a part of the team that found the HRS Rovers F.C. a new home. The Ivor Faure arena was no longer big enough for the needs of the rapidly improving franchise. Governor Soutar is currently on a fact finding mission to America to look at a ground share deal with a new NFL Gridiron team."
" Whilst educating children is important, we feel that by investing all of the funding in the new 2000 seater SK stadium will allow us to focus 100% on the healthy schools program.
How was the prospective deal funded? Well it started off by Liz and Ceri having a lucky find down the back of the sofa. A fully laden unclaimed wallet with the initials MF crammed full of betting slips and winnings was the foundation of the financing project. Once the reconstructive surgery on Mr. Knights nose following a recent on pitch altercation had been paid for, there was enough in the kitty for the stadium.
There will be a running track round the pitch and an unnamed source from the sixth form said that it was great that there was going to be an on-site bookie so that kids, staff and parents could lay bets on all inter school sporting events."
The rumours of a population explosion in the Dunmow area are down to Lee Cooke.........apparently last years Ballon D'or celebrations were frequent and fruitful.
One of the other facilities to be built will be a travellator. This will take hoardes of year 11s safely across the road to Tescos who are the major employer of HRS students, a fact backed up by the facts that future parents evenings are planned to be held in the alcohol aisle.
Ruth Halls and her team have been given the task of designing a kit for the team and has been seen with a selection of plaids and gingham.
Mr Knight has no time frame for the completion of the SK stadium but has pointed out the urgency of the development is due to the lack of Furher funding to pay for personalised Zimmerman frames.
Posted with Blogsy
No comments:
Post a Comment