Just a quickie....

Wet Bladder was asked at a recent press conference...." Exactly how tall us Lee Cooke?"

 

Spot the parents...

 

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Arsenal-the comedy series guaranteed to run and run...

Finally! Or should we say Final-ly?

Gooners get that silverware monkey off their back. Good news is that the victory bus will get to be used. Should they not have won....there were plans to change the sign to "runners up" and drive the bus past whitehart lane........

Why does anyone need a beautifully hand painted bus anyway? Why not just use an ordinary bus with a banner on the front? I mean look at what happened to the Chelsea bus towards the end of the season...

2-0 down after 8 minutes........Tottenham fans had to stop colouring things in with crayons in disbelief.

One devoted fan was prepared for success and had the F.A. Cup all ready.

Sadly Arsenal did turn things around and finally the winners ribbons could be put on the trophy....

At the end an ageing soccer dinosaur....got to meet the club mascot!

Arsene decided that it was time for the world to take him seriously so he decided to strip off and show his manly physique......

Look at the last leader who publicly got his kit off in public...

Arsene will be looking good for champions league qualifying ties against Dynamo Kiev.

Now we turn our thoughts to the World Cup....I know there's a champions league final first.....since their both from Madrid...could you not just let them use jumpers for goalposts in the car park and sort it out quietly.

As the fever starts to kick in...thoughts turn towards how the World Cup was designed.

Concerns have already been raised concerning discipline on the pitch in recent years.

But don't worry at least Mr Pitbull and Miss J-Lo will serenade us frequently in the coming weeks with their wonderful song about flag waving and coming together in Spanish....shame that brazilians speak Portuguese.

 

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Still popular abroad.

 

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European cups and Eurovision

The soccer season has been over for now for a couple of weeks since the Champions league and premiership finished...well it finished for us. I suppose congratulations to "other team that are not Chelsea" are in order.

Jose has had a go at Eden Hazzard, saying that he is not putting in enough effort. there was an unfortunate incident at the training ground as free kicks were being taken....

 

Meanwhile at Manc united, Gigsy isn't sure what the Glazers are going to do to him at the end of the season. Well Ryan, probably the same as Raul Mareiles did.

Lovely ball control!

Eurovision has dominated the weekend. Concerned about the "stalky" behaviour of the female commentator who allegedly knew everything about all of the entries.

Thankfully GB didn't get nul point as usual.

My cat was alarmed at "Conchita"

Was concerned about the Austrian entry wondering who the parents might have been.

Amazingly Austria did win and there was the usual appearance at the victory celebration.

At least we have the World Cup to look forward to.

Frank Lampard had to comfort John Terry as he finally realised his last minute call up wasn't going to happen.

On Monday, Roy Hodgsons chooses his team to win the World Cup..........sadly it's Brazil.

At least I know which team I'll be watching

All I have to do now is learn how to say

............"unlucky Roy" in Uruguayan, Italian and Costa Rican.

.......just keep practicing penalties ...and defending free kicks.......ouch!

 

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Back in the saddle

Not having played football for almost three months was killing me.

Ignoring emails asking for players for a Friday night fixture was horrible. Sadly, I have not been in much of a position to exercise much since the hernia op and have felt under the weather and bloated due to the exercise dropping to zero and the foot and wine levels continuing at excessive standards ....and it showed

Had the on pitch movement of Jabba the Hutt.

Saying all that away for ten weeks, on the scoresheet in ten seconds. Move like a continent but I've still got it.

Colours vs the whites in the Ivor Faure arena.

5 goals wasn't a bad start considering i was finding it hard to move for more than 1-2 minutes so preferred to stay in goal or sit on the bench.(yeah, I know!!!)

Lee Cooke scored what was the goal of the night and this was celebrated by his fans young and old.

News from far and wide showed an unfortunate training incident outside Man City changing rooms.

As the title race goes down to the wire....well it will if CFC beat the scousers, our reporter reveals his true colours.

Frank was so close I could have touched him when he took a corner in the second half.

The Black Eyed Pea celebrates Franks penalty rebound goal.

Unfortunately I am currently post match in bed having spent the last two hours puking and being doubled up with stomach cramps.....mind you I am trying to get the wife to put on the steak and onion lattice pie that I bought for dinner....cleared the decks and up for it big time.

 

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Come on, feel the Moyes!

The Chosen one. how that banner in the Stretford in has haunted young David all year. Now he's gainfully unemployed...Spurs fans...beware of taking Top four cast offs again.

Sadly he didn't actually make it to the end of the season. Villas Boas, Steve Clarke, Chris Hughton, Paulo di Canio, Rene Muelensteen, Ian Holloway, Martin Jol, Michael Laudrup and Malky McKay are already waiting in the pub.

Paul Lambert, Gus Poyet, Pepe Mel and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer are fighting not to get an invite over for a beer.

Obviously David had his successes. Oh that glorious community shield that he polished every day.

Obviously he came in with goals to achieve!

....sometimes he forgot quite where he was.

His friends will mourn his passing

Though he will be leaving with more than just memories.

So David, off you go into the managerial wilderness. You have done more to cheer the rest of the league up than you could ever have thought.

 

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Local Head announces new stadium Deal.

Helena Romanes head teacher, Simon Knight (32) was proud to announce plans for the building of a 2000 seater stadium in the Dunmow Green belt area near Tescos.

"I am proud to be a part of the team that found the HRS Rovers F.C. a new home. The Ivor Faure arena was no longer big enough for the needs of the rapidly improving franchise. Governor Soutar is currently on a fact finding mission to America to look at a ground share deal with a new NFL Gridiron team."

" Whilst educating children is important, we feel that by investing all of the funding in the new 2000 seater SK stadium will allow us to focus 100% on the healthy schools program.

How was the prospective deal funded? Well it started off by Liz and Ceri having a lucky find down the back of the sofa. A fully laden unclaimed wallet with the initials MF crammed full of betting slips and winnings was the foundation of the financing project. Once the reconstructive surgery on Mr. Knights nose following a recent on pitch altercation had been paid for, there was enough in the kitty for the stadium.

There will be a running track round the pitch and an unnamed source from the sixth form said that it was great that there was going to be an on-site bookie so that kids, staff and parents could lay bets on all inter school sporting events."

The rumours of a population explosion in the Dunmow area are down to Lee Cooke.........apparently last years Ballon D'or celebrations were frequent and fruitful.

One of the other facilities to be built will be a travellator. This will take hoardes of year 11s safely across the road to Tescos who are the major employer of HRS students, a fact backed up by the facts that future parents evenings are planned to be held in the alcohol aisle.

Ruth Halls and her team have been given the task of designing a kit for the team and has been seen with a selection of plaids and gingham.

Mr Knight has no time frame for the completion of the SK stadium but has pointed out the urgency of the development is due to the lack of Furher funding to pay for personalised Zimmerman frames.

 

 

 

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